Chapter 14: Re-Breathing the Past

In Chapter 9, you added the sensory detail needed to bring a past event back to life.

Next, we’ll use our breath to feel what our bodies went through during that event. The goal is to feel what we couldn’t fully feel the first time.

Back then, we were too focused on the mission, or just surviving the threat. There wasn’t space to pause and notice what was happening inside.

We’ll use our breath to create that space. I’ll guide you through steps to digest emotions that have remained undigested.

As you’ve likely experienced, writing out memories can stir up intense feelings—the old fear, shock, numbness, helplessness, fury, frustration, shame.

When those events first happened, it was crucial not to feel all that, so we could keep functioning, or just stay alive. But surviving isn’t thriving. Thriving means feeling powerfully, joyfully alive, and the source of that aliveness—presence, confidence, pleasure, motivation, connection—comes from the body.

The challenge is that the body is also where we felt the pain. The same place we escaped from when we went numb.

To fully experience life again, we need to be able to fully experience our bodies. Which means reconnecting with the parts we cut off from.

All the steps in this series matter, but this is the one I struggled to follow through on. The one I often tried to do halfway. Why? Because feeling buried emotions usually sucks. It's uncomfortable, often painful. That’s why we avoided feeling them in the first place!

Follow the steps below, and you can avoid the trap I lived in for 15 years: talking about feelings instead of feeling them.

In the rest of this chapter, I’ll share techniques that helped me reconnect with the emotions I buried. I’ll keep it simple so you can try them right away.

Essentially, we’ll bring up the original moment of intensity, feel it, and let it move through and out (instead of stuffing it back down).

We need to let the raw poison come up. It's gonna be unpleasant. Vomiting up poison sucks. But afterward, it's out.

Getting Started with Re-Breathing the Past

In Chapter 13: Breathing Across Time, I wrote about two ways I've used my breath to feel past memories again:

1. Re-experiencing the memory as my past self: seeing it through his eyes, reliving it without changing anything except how I breathe.

2. Experiencing the memory side by side with my past self: bringing my present-day self into the memory to comfort and support the younger me.

In other words, I switch between two perspectives.

Viewpoint A: Reliving the memory as my younger self, experiencing it exactly as it happened, like a vivid daydream.

Viewpoint B: Revisiting the memory as my present self and supporting my younger self, so the body has a new emotional experience of the same event.

There are many ways this could look. You’ll find your own. Everyone’s emotional reality is unique.

At the same time, there are patterns in how people process emotions. I’ll walk you through practices for common patterns—things that worked for me and may help you too. These steps are a starting point. You’ll adapt them as you go.

Some of what follows is straightforward; some is more poetic. That’s on purpose: to reach different parts of your brain, heart, and nervous system. The goal is to wake up the places that shut down when you had to keep going.

For now, we’ll focus on Viewpoint A. It’s the foundation for Viewpoint B.

Before we bring our present self into a memory to comfort our younger self, we need a steady, reliable connection to our body.

Let’s begin.

3-Step Support Plan (complete this first)

1. Tell a trusted teammate or support person what you’re about to do. Share where you’ll be and for how long. Ask them to be on-call. Text when you start and when you finish.
2. Schedule a same-day check-in for after you’re done. Add it to both calendars (yours and theirs), with reminders.
3. Add a second layer of help (therapist, VA counselor, group leader, or peer circle). Keep their contact info handy.

Start only if:

• You’re sober today and in a safe, private place (daylight helps too).
• Your support person replied “Ready” and the same-day check-in is set.

Do not start if:

• Active suicidal thoughts or a recent attempt.
• Recent psychosis, mania, or severe dissociation.
• Substance use today or you’re in withdrawal.
• You’re alone at night or in a place you can’t ground safely.

If at any time you're in crisis

If you need immediate support and can’t reach your people:

• Call 988 and press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line
  • or text 838255
  • or chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net.
  • Available 24/7 and confidential. 

The 10 Steps of Re-Breathing the Past:

A guided way to re-enter old memories through the breath

1. Secure: Find a quiet, safe place (during daylight hours) where you won’t be interrupted. Text your teammate/support person to say you’re starting and confirm they’re reachable. Don’t begin without a reply. Set a timer for 10-25 minutes (10 minutes if this is your first time, extend as you get more comfortable).

2. Re-read: Take your sensory-focused story (from Chapter 9) and read it through. Let it bring you back into the event.

3. Pause: Stop at the first sensation you wrote about (for example: heat on your face, tingling arms, clenched stomach, tight throat).

4. Drop in: Let one sensation light up in your body at a time. Take your time. When you can feel a sensation in the same spot you described on the page, move to the next. Make contact with each sensation you wrote about.

5. Breathe: Begin breathing into the sensations.

Inhale slowly for a count of four; exhale softly for a count of six.

Aim the breath into the exact spot that’s tight. Feel the area expand on the inhale and melt a notch on the exhale.

When a part of our body is holding tension, it needs oxygen. Picture your breath reaching that area.

On the exhale, let the tension soften. Those parts don’t need to stay clenched anymore.

6. Notice Thinking: Watch for thoughts that pull you out of your body, like:

• Creating stories

• Judging what comes up as: [good/bad] - [right/wrong] - [wanted/unwanted] - [fair/unfair] - [pleasant/unpleasant]

• Trying to explain why you still feel this way

This is all thinking about our feelings, instead of actually feeling them.

When you catch it happening, bring the spotlight of your attention to the exact spot in your body where the sensation lives.

You can tell yourself something like, “It’s okay to feel this now,” or "I'm ready to face this and give it my full attention."

7. Find the Core: Breathe into the center of whatever's happening (the eye of the storm), especially during the hardest moments of the story.

Aim the breath right there. Stay. Soften your shoulders and jaw. Feel what's coming up as clearly as possible.

Sensations are signals, not threats.

They're here to warn, protect, and guide.

Name what your feeling (simple words are enough):

• Shaky: fluttery, trembling, tingling, vibrating
• Burning: hot, pulsing, throbbing, sweating
• Contracted: tight, knotted, heavy, constricted
• Expansive: radiating, opened, light, flowing
• Nervy: prickly, electric, buzzy, itchy
• Faint: dizzy, queasy, swirling, clammy
• Disconnected: numb, hollow, dull, floating, cold
• Connected: relaxed, warm, soft, releasing

If you want more help naming, skim the List of Sensations

If the energy swirls like a storm or builds like a fire, let it move how it needs to and run its course.

Wildfire clears out what’s dead so the living can thrive. Ash becomes fertilizer.

Some trees, like lodgepole pines, even depend on fire. To survive, they’ve learned to embrace what seems unsurvivable. Their cones open only under intense heat, releasing seeds that won't sprout until the old forest has burned away.

Some of us are like that. The fires we've survived make room for new life to take root.

Let the sensations burn through until only ashes remain.

8. Honor: Place a hand where the sensation is strongest right now.

Not sure? Rest a hand on your chest or lower belly.

• If more than one spot is active, pick one for now. You can visit the others after.
• If touch doesn’t feel safe, hover your hand a few inches away or imagine a warm hand there.

Apply gentle pressure.

Thank your body for protecting you.

You might say, “Thank you for getting me through,” or “I appreciate how you kept me safe enough to make it here,” or “I’ve got you now.”

No words will be more powerful than your own. Find your own way to bring respect and gratitude to your nervous system.

It’s done its best, even when overwhelmed.

9. Express: Let your body respond naturally.

Old fight-or-flight impulses may surface, actions your nervous system wanted to take but couldn’t then.

If your body wants to move, let it safely complete some of them: block, dodge, step back, run in place, or “push” the threat away. If what you needed was to curl up and let tears flow but you never got to grieve, try that now.

Allow what couldn’t happen then to happen now. Whatever frozen reactions resurface, find a safe way to express them in this moment.

Options (pick what fits your space): punch a pillow, push a wall, stomp the floor, shake out your arms, yell into a towel, roar in the woods or your parked car, or just let sound move. Smaller expressions are fine too: press your feet into the ground, squeeze a stress ball, tense and release your fists.

Let emotion be energy in motion. Let your body discharge what it’s held (without harming yourself or others).

If you tip over into overwhelm, pause: open your eyes, name three things you see, breathe 4-in/6-out. Then continue or stop.

When you notice even a slight downshift—your breath lengthens, your shoulders drop, or the overwhelm eases—move to Step 10.

10. Integrate:

Let's bring it together.

Sit or stand. Feel your feet. Soften your jaw.

One hand on chest or belly.

Now, imagine your past self breathing in sync with you.

Picture your present-day self stepping into that scene with the same light, same air, same sounds, and be by your younger self’s side.

• As you inhale, feel the younger you inhale. Belly rises here; belly rises there in the memory.

• As you exhale, feel the younger you exhale.

Breathe together for at least a minute. Breathe your past self safely into the present.

Breathe your present self steadily into the past. 

Feel the connection between who you were and who you are now.

One body. One breath. One timeline.

Together, you are one strong, whole human being, someone who has lived and seen some sh*t.

Afterward: Reflect and Relax

Reflect

• Notice the light in the room you’re in now.

• Count the sounds you can hear. How many are there?

• Soften the muscles around your eyes and cheekbones.

How do you feel now compared to when you started? Notice what shifts when you give steady attention to sensations—letting them rise, stay, and pass through.

Most feelings are like waves in an ocean. They rise, crest, and pass within a minute or two when we stay with the sensations underneath them. Some take longer, like a knot slowly coming undone.

Write down any new details or insights. Notice any new sensations—sometimes they carry emotions we forgot were there.

If parts of your written story now feel incomplete, add the missing pieces. The more detailed your story becomes, the more of its weight moves to the page.

Relax

Take a moment to notice—you’re still here. You made it. Drop all efforts for a minute, and just be.

No big decisions for 24 hours.

Facing hard memories is hard work. Don’t be surprised if you feel stirred up for a while. Whatever thoughts and feelings come up, let them be there. No need to push them away. They're gonna be like clouds passing through on their own time.

The body needs space to reset after breathwork like this, just like muscles need time to recover after hard training. Give yourself that space.

Put on music that feels good. Eat something nourishing. Call a friend and ask how they’re doing.

The gains come during rest, relaxation, and downtime. Old energy patterns are breaking down, becoming fuel for new life. This process doesn’t always happen overnight. You might feel sore for a few days.

That’s not a setback—it’s how new strength gets built. Trust that your system is finding its balance.

If you feel pulled toward old habits (drinking, smoking, gambling, porn, shopping, etc.), pause and reach out to your support network. Everyone needs help sometimes.

Be gentle with yourself.

If questions come up, join one of our No Story Left Behind Zoom meetups (use the blue Subscribe button on the right to join that list).

Building a New Relationship with Our Bodies

I didn’t see it at first, but when I made a habit of tuning out my body's signals, I was abandoning myself the same way the adults in my life did when I was a kid.

By Re-Breathing the Past, we’re rewiring how we respond to our body’s signals, especially the ones we tried to numb or avoid. We’re learning to stay connected to our body during uncomfortable moments instead of abandoning it.

Many times what we call 'fear' is just the nervous system firing without the breath. When our breath froze, our memory and confidence froze too.

The steps of Embodied Wholeness Storytelling help unfreeze old memories, place them in a clear sequence, and let the body digest them. It isn’t about rehashing trauma; it’s about taking back ownership of our story.

Once that happens, something almost miraculous becomes possible: we can write a new ending to an old story.

That's where we're headed in Part III: What's Possible Next Time?

Starting with Chapter 15: What's Your Trampoline?